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kingfolly:

if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and fucking murder them

Home Alone

sodamnrelatable:

In the Daytime:

At Night:

via sodamnrelatable

(Source: markkennethlopez)

  • average teen: what if my mom finds out i've been sneaking out, drinking, smoking and having sex
  • me: what if my mom finds out my tumblr url

I can’t make this shit up, y’all. I just can’t.

ejob:


mom: “what are you doing?”
me: “I’m on tumblr.”
mom: “the feminist cat website?”

the feminist cat website.

the feminist cat website

the feminist cat website

the feminist cat website

THE FEMINIST CAT WEBSITE

that’s accurate.  

(Source: farahjoon)

  • Chandler: Here's the phone bill.
  • (Hands over)
  • Joey: OH MY GOD
  • Chandler: That's our phone number.

" I took my cereal, stabbed it open with a knife, snorted that shit , and got high on life. "

- (via yourchocolaterain)

ahappyhippie:

all i want for my birthday is bo burnham. is that really too much to ask? like, really?　 

trust: bless you kingsley
  • my sister: you have more friends on tumblr than you have in real life
  • me: i know. isnt it great

Trainer battles are so irritating.

  • Me: *just passing by*
  • Trainer: HEY I JUST MET YOU
  • Trainer: AND THIS IS CRAZY
  • Trainer: BUT YOU CROSSED MY PATH
  • Trainer: SO BATTLE MY TEAM OF 4 OF THE SAME POKEMON, MAYBE?

When I was little I thought the moon was following me when I was in the car

sodamnrelatable:

I would be in the car like:

via sodamnrelatable

(Source: jceeser88)

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